Marriage and Family

I have been thinking a lot on this subject the last couple of weeks. It is something that has been concerning me for a little while now. Over the past 2 or 3 years I have seen as many if not more divorces than I have all the years previously combined. It is very sad to me to see this trend. I feel I don't have the experience to offer any advice, for while I am in a very happy marriage of 13 years, I haven't been through any teenage years with children or unemployment or loss of children. Not that these trials would or should lead to divorce but they would be very trying on a marriage and family. So with that being said, I want to post some advice from scriptures and from latter day Prophets and Apostles.

Elder Russell M. Nelson said “My purpose in speaking out on this topic is to declare, as an Apostle of the Lord that marriage between a man and a woman is sacred- it is ordained of God. I also assert the virtue of a temple marriage. It is the highest and most enduring type of marriage that our Creator can offer to His Children.

“it is lawful that [a man] should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation.” D&C 49:16; see also Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7-9; D&C 42:22;Moses 3:24; Abraham 5:18.

“the man [is not] without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” 1Corinthians 11:11

Harmony in marriage comes only when one esteems the welfare of his or her spouse amont the highest of priorities. When that really happens, a celestial marriage becomes a reality, bringing great joy in this life and in the life to come.”

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said “ We live in a world in which the whole concept of marriage is in peril and where divorce is commonplace. I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache. Spouces who hope that divorce will resolve

conflicts often find that it aggravates them, since the complexities that follow divorce-especially where there are children- generate new conflicts. To avoid so-called “incompatibility,” they should be best friends, kind and considerate, sensitive to each other's needs, always seeking to make each other happy. They should be partners in family finances, working together to regulate their desires for temporal things. Don't treasure up past wrongs, reprocessing them again and again. In a marriage relationship, festering is destructive; Forgiving is divine (see D&C 64:9-10). Plead for the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord to forgive wrongs ...to overcome faults, and to strengthen relationships.

...we should realize that a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.”

President Spencet W. Kimball taught: “ Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage... means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.

President Gordon B. Hinkley said “How wonderful a thing is marriage under the plan of our Eternal Father, a plan provided in His divine wisdom for the happiness and security of His children and the continuity of the race. He is our Creator, and He designed marriage from the beginning. At the time of Eve's creation, “Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:...

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2: 23- 24.)

In modern revelation, the Lord has said, “ And again, verily I say unto you, that whoso forbiddeth to marry is not ordained of God, for marriage is ordained of God unto man.” (D&C 49:15)

The sweetest feelings of life, the most generous and satisfying impulses of the human heart, find expression in a marriage that stands pure and unsullied above the evil of the world.

Such a marriage, I believe, is the desire- the hoped-for, the longed-for, the prayed-for desire- of men and women everywhere.

Why all of thes broken homes? What happens to marriages that begin with sincere love and a desire to be loyal and faithful and true one to another?

There is no simple answer. I acknowledge that. But it appears to me that there are some obvious reasons that account for a very high percentage of these problems. I say this our of experience in dealing with such tragedies. I find selfishness to be the root cause of most of it.

I am satisfied tht a happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one's companion.

Selfishness so often is the basis of money problems, which are a vey serious and real factor affecting the stability of family life. Selfishness is at the root of adultery, the breaking of solemn and sacred covenants to satisfy selfish lust. Selfishness is the antithesis of love. It is a cankering expression of greed. It destroys self-discipline. It obliterates loyalty. It tears up sacred covenants. It afflicts both men and women.

Too many who come to marriage have been coddled and spoiled and somehow led to feel that everything must be precisely right at all times, that life is a series of entertainments, that appetites are to be satisfied without regard to principle. How tragic the consequences of such hollow and unreasonable thinking!

Marriage is beautiful when beauty is looked for and cultivated. It can be ugly and uncomfortable when one is looking for faults and is blinded to virtue. As Edgar A. Guest once remarked, “ It take a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home.” (“Home”, in Collected Verse of Edgar A. Guest, Chicago: Reilly and Lee Co., 1934, p. 12) That is true. I can show you throughout this church hundreds of thousands of families who make it work with love and peace, discipline and honesty, concern and unselfishness.

There must be recognition on the part of both husband and wife of the solelmnity and sanctity of marriage and of the God-given desing behind it.

There must be a willingness to overlook small faults, to forgive, and then to forget.

There must be a holding of one's tongue. Temper is a vicious and corrosive thing that destroys affection and casts out love.

There must be self-discipline that constrains against abuse of wife and children and self.

There must be the Spirit of God, invited and worked for, nurtured and strengthened. There must be recognition of the fact that each is a child of God- father, mother, son, and daughter, each with a divine birthright- and also recognition of the fact that when we offend one of these, we offend our Father in Heaven.

There may be now and again a legitimate cause for divorce. I am not one to say that it is never justified. But I say without hesitation that this plague among us, which seems to be growing everywhere, is not of God, but rather is the work of the adversary of righteousness and peace and truth.

You need not be his victims. You can rise above his wiles and entreaties. Get rid of the titillating entertainment, the pornography that leads to evil desires and reprehensible activity. Wives, look upon your husbands as your precious companions and live worthy of that association. Husbands, see in your wives your most valued asset in time or eternity, each is a daughter of God, a partner with whom you can wald hand in hand, through sunshine and storm, through all the perils and triumphs of life. Parents, see in your children sons and daughters of your Father in Heaven, who will hold you accountable for them. Stand together as their guardians, their protectors, their guides, their anchors.

The strength of the nations lies in the homes of the people. God is the designer if the family. He intended that the greatest of happiness, the most satisfying aspects of life, the deepest joys should come in our associations together and our concerns one for another as fathers and mothers and children.

God bless the homes of our people. May He bless those homes that there may be loyal and true fathers and good and wonderful mothers, and obedient and ambitious children reared in “ the nurture and admonition of the Lord”(Enos 1:1). I humbly pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Jacob 3:7 Speaking of the Lamanites he said "Their husbands love their wives, their wives love their husbands and their husbands and their wives love their children," May we all do the same in our families and strive for strong, righteous, celestial families. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen

How I lost 25 lbs. in 6 months

I am so excited that I reached my weight loss goal. I thought I'd share how I did it. In Feb. or March I found out my 15th year high school reunion was going to be in Sept.. So I knew I had 6 months to lose weight. I decided in that amount of time I should be able to lose 25lbs. I wanted to start running and just eat what I wanted and hope that that would work.

Well after reading about exercising and dieting I discovered that I would have to diet. I decided I would eat 1200 calories a day and I ran 30 mins. 3 times a week. If I had exercised for an hour a day I would have lost the weight faster. Running was something my husband and I did together and 30 mins. was our limit. Running everyday is not recommended because you could get injured. It was hard to find other ways and time to exercise. So we did 30 mins. 3 times a week.

1200 calories was not very hard for me because I don't eat breakfast anyway so that gives me 600 calories a meal or 500 a meal and a 200 calorie snack. I read some things that said you should eat 6 meals a day so that would be 6 200 calories meals a day. That is really hard for me to do because 200 calories depending on what you eat is hardly anything. I just did what worked for me. It does say that lots of small meals is better for you metabolism. Anyway, 1200 calories a day with 2 main meals and a small snack worked for me. Now there were days when I was hungry and so I ate more. Probably one day a week I would eat a little more and not be super strict with my diet.

What I ate: I stopped drinking milk and drank more water and Lemonade after runs. Lunch was a lunch meat sandwhich no cheese and miracle whip rather that mayonaise. I would eat salad or grapes and strawberries with it or light yogurt. Dinner was the regular things I would cook for my family I would just eat smaller portions and a salad or vegetables or fresh fruit with it. I would pay more attention to how many calories were in my food and watch my portion sizes. If we went out to eat I would look it up on line and find out what I could eat for fewer calories. There are some places I would not eat, like Quiznos and Wendys. Everywhere else I could eat for under 600 calories but no French fries. Pizza I still ate but 1 slice with salad and fruit or/and light yogurt. Anyway this worked for me. I've decide to lose 5 more lbs. and then I am done. Dieting that is not running. The running I hope I can continue for many years to come.


My main keys: My best friend, my husband Jon, did this with me. We ran together and dieted together. We would weigh ourselves and share our excitement or our disappointment and we would encourage and help each other. My high school reunion was big motivation for me as well as just wanting to look good and be healthy. Reading and finding what you can do and what works for you is important.

Now I did have some weeks when my weight loss stalled. It happened when I had lost about 7 lbs. and then again after I had lost 15 lbs. Even though it was discouraging I kept to my diet and exercise and the wieght started to come off again.

I wanted to share this for anyone wanting to lose weight and just not quite sure how. This was my first experience with weight loss. I wish I had done it a long time ago. I thought dieting would be so hard. But I discovered you don't have to stop eating just eat more fruits and vegetables which are low in calories you can still fill your tummy just with better things.

You can still eat higher calorie things like meat and sugar just in moderation. You have to pay attention to what and how many calories are going into your body. After I started paying attention to calories and learned how many calories a lot of things had it was easy for me to see why I had gained the weight in the first place. I ate terrible and a lot of food. More than I needed. I ate candybars and full meals at fast food places. Anyway I was not surprised I needed to lose 25lbs. after more than 6 months eating that way and never losing all the weight from my 4th baby. Now I think I can keep it under control and keep it off. And if I start to gain it back I know what works for me and can do it again. I am not trying to brag. I just wanted to post this in case it can help someone struggling with weight loss.