Perfect: Not Me

I have made big mistakes and small mistakes in my life, I haven't stopped, yet. The big mistakes were still eating at me until recently, but the only real differences are the amount of time it takes to change (repent), and the things I need to do to make restitution. Each one is disobedience and each one, without repentance, keeps me from attaining the Kingdom of God. “No unclean thing can enter his kingdom” (3 Nephi 27:19) and “For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” (Doctrine and Covenants 1:31) One reason I kept holding onto my big mistakes was because I was unsure that the process of repentance was complete, even though I have felt forgiven many times.  Another reason was the belief that I should have been better than that in the first place. 

I should have been stronger and smarter. But who says? Me? My Mom? My leaders? My friends? Yes, to all of the above, but what other people think of me is none of my business, so I'll concentrate on me.  Did I expect to be perfect? Did I think I would get through life without any crimson marks on me? Did I think I was like unto Jesus Christ? The answer is no, but... I have held myself to a higher standard throughout my life than I would ever hold anyone else to. But why? Because I'm better, because I know more, because I'm stronger? Of course not, but maybe I thought I should be. The reality is I'm NOT AND I WASN'T then.  I made mistakes that I should have known better and have been better.  Only I wasn't. 

I have had an epiphany in the past few weeks, with the help of sacrament talks, young women lessons (I'm a leader), and stake conference talks. My epiphany is this, I did not come to earth to live a perfect life. (That shouldn't be new information).  Only one person was called upon to do that. I was sent here to learn and grow so I can eventually, and I mean EVENTUALLY, reach perfection. Does this excuse me from my sins? No! It means I need to learn from them, repent and forsake them, and learn what led to the mistakes I made (fear of man, selfishness, laziness, pleasures of the flesh, etc.) so I can change that. It means once I have figured out what led to the sin, or the root cause, and have started to work on being better, I need to let go and forgive myself. I am not perfect, yet, and that is okay.

Another lesson I have learned is that Jesus Christ came and suffered for me and my sins and everyone's sins who have ever lived. I do not cause Him more pain by making many or “bigger” mistakes, He has already suffered it, I do not cause Him less Pain by making fewer or “smaller” mistakes, HE ALREADY SUFFERED IT ALL. I save myself a lot of pain and suffering if I can be obedient, and when I can't or won't, I have an opportunity to learn, grow, and become better. I have an opportunity to come unto Him and feel of His great love for me and His mercy.

There is a story in the Bible that has always troubled me and I think I am starting to figure it out. Jesus is eating with publicans and sinners, the scribes and Pharisees see him, and become offended that He would be doing such a thing. They ask His disciples why would he spend time with such dross. He hears them and answers “.. They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Mark 2:17

When I read this, I always think 'aren't we all sinners or sick and need repentance and the physician?' The answer is yes. However, a physician cannot heal if the sick do not believe they need to be healed, or if they do not believe the physician has power to do so.

Jesus wasn't telling the Pharisees that they were good, or perfect even, and that they didn't need Him. He understood that they were in denial of the sickness they were suffering from. He understood that they did not have faith in His power and ability to heal them.

Jesus Christ came to earth to show us the way, and provide us sinners a way back to our Heavenly Father. We came to earth to learn, grow, and become like Him as we accept Him as our physician, our SAVIOR. That is my job, not to worry about the past and how many times I have chosen evil over good, which was expected of me sometimes (that is why Christ came). I need to let that go and focus on coming unto and becoming like my Savior and Redeemer. I need to stop beating myself up and move on. So I haven't been as good here as I hoped I would be. It isn't over yet, I can become better and better as I work at growing and changing, and that IS all that is expected of me and all of us.

Elder Jeffery R Holland said “So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of [others]... Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with....” In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Christlike Love

Matthew, an apostle of Jesus Christ, wrote about the Pharisee and lawyer who asked Christ which is the greatest of all the commandments. The Savior answered “Thou shalt love the Lord your God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.... And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22: 36, 37, and 39)

President Thomas S. Monson (Prophet and president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) said “We cannot truly love God if we do not love our fellow travelers on this mortal journey. Likewise, we cannot fully love our fellowmen if we do not love God, the Father of us all. The Apostle John tells us, 'This commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also' (1 John 4:21). We are all spirit children of our Heavenly Father and, as such, are brothers and sisters. As we keep this truth in mind, loving all of God’s children will become easier.”

Many people, especially now-a-days, like to claim that those who do not profess a love of God at all and claim he does not exist are more loving than those who say they love God and want to follow Him. This belief seems incorrect to me. First, it is important to remember we are all on this earth to learn and grow and none of us are perfect. Not one of us has quite perfected loving others or God as Christ did. So will we always treat others with perfect kindness and charity? The answer is no. But I believe those who love God with everything in them will come closer than those who do not. Wait, what, why?

Because those who love God with everything in them, want to serve Him and keep His commandments. They understand who they are -children of God. Therefore, they understand who their fellow travelers are -children of God, brothers and sisters. Without this understanding, individuals cannot fully love their neighbors, especially not as they love themselves. Because they have not learned who they truly are yet, and do not fully love themselves yet. It is all intertwined.

God's love for all of His children is perfect, eternal, and unconditional. He will love us no matter what we choose to do here on earth. However, it is important to state that to love does not mean to approve, condone, or permit. His love never goes away, but there are consequences for our actions. If not so God would cease to be God. He has said no unclean thing can enter His presence. Therefore, He expects us to become clean. The way to cleanliness is through the Atoning sacrifice of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We are all sinners and therefore unclean, but the way has been provided for us to repent and forsake our sins that we may be made clean through the blood of the Savior of mankind.

A common problem today is that we do not want to be told we are sinners. We want to be patted on the head and told that we are just fine the way we are, that we are already perfect. We want to believe that if there is a god, he created us as good as we are going to get, or as perfect as he wants us to be. This is the “love” we desire from others. However, the purpose of this life is to improve and learn to love and obey as the only perfect living soul on the earth did, even Jesus Christ.

How do we learn this love? First, perfection is not anything we can achieve in the fallen world we live in, but we can become better and better as we continue to try. Jesus has shown us so many examples of how to love correctly, righteously. If we follow His example we will be well on our way.

One of my favorite stories of Jesus Christ showing His perfect love is when he was just 12 years old. He, His family and extended family had traveled to Jerusalem to observe the Passover. At the end of the celebration all His family started the journey home, after a day of traveling His parents realized that He was not in the group. They traveled another day back to Jerusalem and spent three days in search of Him. They eventually found Him in the temple teaching those who would listen. When they found Him they asked “Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us, behold thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.” Jesus answered “How is it that ye sought me, wist ye (know ye) not that I must be about my Father's (God's) business?” Then the scriptures say that Joseph and Mary didn't understand the saying, and Jesus went with them home and became subject unto them (under their control).

What I love about this story is that according to Jewish tradition, He was almost the age of a man and yet he acted in humility and out of love for His parents. He knew they didn't understand quite yet all that He was called to do. He understood the responsibility they felt toward Him that weighed heavily on them, and instead of being a teenager and arguing with them, He loved them as much as He loved Himself. He showed that love by putting their need to take care of Him before any desire to argue His side. For Him, it was not about making sure everyone understood He was in the right, it was about honoring His parents, keeping the 5th commandment.

Another great example from the life of Jesus Christ is the woman taken in adultery. Here, a woman is brought before Him caught in the very act of adultery, no other proof is needed to determine her sin. The law at the time is death by stoning for those whose crimes are so grievous. The Pharisees ask Jesus what will He do. Jesus does not answer right away, but when He does, He asks them to consider their own sins. He asks them to go ahead and stone her if they are without sin. They answer by saving her life and slowly walking away. Jesus speaks to her with love and a commandment. He asks her “where are those, thine accusers, hath no man condemned thee.” She answered that no man had and he said “Neither do I condemn thee, go, and sin no more.” The love He showed was saving her life and allowing her time to repent. The condemnation He was speaking of was death. He did not condemn her to death, and neither did her accusers when Christ pointed out that they were sinners as well. However, He did not say “you are forgiven”, or “you're fine, keep doing what you are doing.” He commanded her to repent when He said “go, and sin no more.”

Love is pointing others to the path of repentance. The path that leads to eternal life, happiness, and peace. Many feel that Christians teaching the Bible and the truth they have found to others is not love, but IT IS. It is what Christ did and what He asked His followers to do. If we teach with love and patience then we are following the example of our Savior. If we yell, condemn others to hell, or Bible bash, we have no love or charity. Love is founded upon righteousness, compassion, kindness, and unselfishness. Is it about lifting and helping others. It is not about who is right and who is wrong, it is about helping others find their true best selves.

It is also about not giving up when others think they already are their best selves, but through kindness and compassion serving and loving them until they can catch a vision of themselves as you see them and as God sees them.

So a tough question to ask when discussing love Is: “Is it love to support traditional marriage?” or as the world sees it “Is it love not to support same-sex marriage?”

Yes! It is love if we are doing it because we sincerely love God, His ways, all of His children, who they are and who they are to become, and who we are and who we are to become. It is love when we see the big eternal picture and know that those choices cannot bring about happiness, but that it will bring destruction and misery to all who follow that path. It is love to support righteousness and to decry evil. It is absolutely love to make sin undesirable and righteousness desirable and easy to follow after.

Is it inequality? Yes! Because sin and righteousness are not equal. They do not bring about equal results nor do they support one another. Where one is rampant the other is restrained. The conflict between the two comes to a head when the numbers on each side start to equal one another. Then people start to fight for their side and try to sway others from their beliefs. When one side wins and restrains the other the conflict subsides, until the pendulum swings again.

Alma, a prophet in The Book of Mormon, teaches us “And thus we see how great the inequality of man is because of sin and transgression, and the power of the devil, which comes by the cunning plans which he hath devised to ensnare the hearts of men” (Alma 28:13). 

What we have to decide is which side is worth fighting for. For those who follow Jesus Christ and read and study the scriptures the decision is relatively easy. The outcome is known. No matter how much the side of sin and unrighteousness seems to be winning, the conflict will end with Christ fighting for His people. Those who fight against Him and His people are destroyed. “This is the inequality of man because of sin.” Some will be raised to inherit eternal glory, some will be raised to inherit some other glory, and a few will inherit no glory at all.

The justice of God is fair and right. Eventually, all will see and proclaim that fact. It will be much better for us all if we can come to this conclusion here on Earth and repent so that mercy can have claim on us.

Love is working for God's ways and working to help bring His children home to Him. We cannot truly love others if we do not first truly love and serve the Father of us all. We cannot truly love The Father if we do not love His children. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

I Did it For Them or so I Thought

It has been about 6 to 8 years now, but I remember very clearly the prompting that came to me one day. I was told that my children needed daily scripture study. I started reading the scriptures to them during breakfast. These past several years of daily scripture study was for my kids, to build their testimonies and instill in them a love of the word of God. It was all for them or so I thought.

About 4 years ago I was in a Stake conference and the subject of a talk was temple work. We were admonished in this talk to attend the temple as often as possible, not once a month which had been the counsel. I felt impressed that with older children and my youngest at the age of 3 that I could set up play dates and attend the temple once a week. I made a new year resolution to attend the temple once a week. I had a really good friend who was willing to take my 3 year old each week for the 3 hours I was at the temple. I was excited, I could help 52 people throughout that year if I was diligent and kept my goal. I was doing it all for those people who had died and couldn't do the work themselves... or so I thought.

In the fall of 2012 I started back to college after 17 years. I had felt impressed months earlier that it was time to go back. So I filled out applications, took tests, and ordered transcripts so I could finish my education. I had had a baby in November of 2010 my first boy and 5th child. School seemed a little overwhelming, but I felt that this was what Heavenly Father wanted me to be doing so I waded in. I started with online classes and a Saturday class my first semester. You've probably started to wonder what this has to do with the first two paragraphs of this post.

As classes started, I was surprised to find my conservative beliefs, my traditional marriage style (being a stay at home mom), and my religious beliefs attacked. It was extremely frustrating to read in different textbooks that I was wrong, resistant to change and progress, and very old fashioned.

I lack confidence in myself and generally feel that I am in the wrong if my ways disagree with others, especially many many others. I found myself critically looking at was I was reading and learning along with what I have believed and known to be true all of my life. I started questioning many things. My most difficult class, that tested me the most, was my anthropology class which I took my second semester. The textbook attacked the Bible, religion in general, women's roles, and mankind and their origin as I understood it. It was a testimony shaking class for me. It led me to ponder and ask many questions.

Fortunately, our ward Sunday School teacher had had a similar class and had some of the same questions and struggles I was having. He mentioned a little bit of his struggle in a class one Sunday, so afterward I asked him about it more in depth. The things he shared with me that had helped him made so much sense to me. Also President Uchdorf had given a CES fireside around this time. His talk was called “What is Truth”. When I had listened to it the first time, I was thinking of it in context of religious beliefs, but after talking with my Sunday school teacher and his wife, I saw it in context of science, religion, and anything that lays claim to truth. I was able to read and study words of the prophets, scriptures, and to pray for answers and help. I was able to find confidence in my differences. After all, if I was so different from my secular learning, I had to be doing something right, right? ;) I was able to really strengthen my testimony.

My testimony had never been tried as hard as it was during this first year of school. My friends were LDS, I was a stay at home mom in Utah. It was easy to be LDS. I also had had many evidences of God in my life that made it easy to believe in God, Jesus Christ, and in Their church because it had brought me so much peace and happiness. During my struggles I understood that I really had two choices, hold on to what I believed and continue on in happiness and peace, or let it go and stop doing all of the things that I knew to be right and which I knew was the source of my peace and happiness and live in darkness, sorrow, and uncertainty. The choice was really a no-brainer, even though the struggle was real. The struggle made me stronger and a fighter.

My second year I took a philosophy class where my religious beliefs came under attack again. This time I didn't question what I knew to be true, but with every paper I wrote for that class, I bore testimony of God and the purpose of our lives and my last paper was all about my Savior Jesus Christ and His teachings.

Now back to the first two paragraphs. The scriptures and temple attendance were not only for my kids and those who had died. Heavenly Father had and has a plan for me and knew the struggles I would face, because he knows me, my personality, and my lack of confidence. He prepared me for school. It was for me, as well as for the others.

Without that preparation, the filling my lamp with oil, I could be telling a different story, a story of loss, of confusion, and of suffering. Fortunately, my loving Heavenly Father knew what I needed, and through His spirit, was leading and guiding me to spiritual light and knowledge and a foundation built on my Savior Jesus Christ. Helaman counseled “And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall” (Helaman 5:12).

It is so important to nourish our testimonies with daily prayer and scripture study and regular temple attendance. These things will get us through times of struggle, questions, and trouble. Heavenly Father has given us tools to help us stay on the strait and narrow path, but they can't benefit us if we ignore them. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

To King David, God Will Be as Merciful as Justice Allows

Last week in Gospel Doctrine class at church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) we talked about King David and his fall. The question of his forgiveness or seemingly lack of it was raised. My thoughts have wondered to that question many times throughout the week. I know that David will receive as much mercy as can be given without robbing justice (Alma 42).  I loved the explanations given in the Old Testament Student manual (institute) on the subject:

"Elder Joseph Fielding Smith, commenting on David’s sin, said: “David committed a dreadful crime, and all his life afterwards sought for forgiveness. Some of the Psalms portray the anguish of his soul; yet David is still paying for his sin. He did not receive the resurrection at the time of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Peter declared that his body was still in the tomb, and the Prophet Joseph Smith has said, ‘David sought repentance at the hand of God carefully with tears, for the murder of Uriah; but he could only get it through hell: he got a promise that his soul should not be left in hell.’ Again we ask: Who wishes to spend a term in hell with the devil before being cleansed from sin?” (Answers to Gospel Questions, 1:74.)...

"Consider that David was destined for exaltation, destined to rule in heaven forever and ever as a Creator and a God to his future children. As the Lord said, there is no greater gift that He could offer a man than eternal life (see D&C 6:13). David had it within his grasp, and then, in a foolish attempt to hide his sin, sent a man to his death. Had he even come to himself after his transgression with Bath-sheba and sought repentance as sincerely and earnestly as he did after Nathan’s parable, there is every indication that he could have come back and received forgiveness. It would have been difficult, but not impossible. But he did the very thing of which so many are guilty—he compounded his sin by trying to cover it up. Elder Spencer W. Kimball indicated that there is no restitution possible for murder."

“As to crimes for which no adequate restoration is possible, I have suggested … that perhaps the reason murder is an unforgivable sin is that, once having taken a life—whether that life be innocent or reprobate—the life-taker cannot restore it. He may give his own life as payment, but this does not wholly undo the injury done by his crime. He might support the widow and children; he might do many other noble things; but a life is gone and the restitution of it in full is impossible. Repentance in the ordinary sense seems futile.

“Murder is so treacherous and so far-reaching! Those who lose their possessions may be able to recover their wealth. Those defamed may still be able to prove themselves above reproach. Even the loss of chastity leaves the soul in mortality with opportunity to recover and repent and to make amends to some degree. But to take a life... cuts off the victim’s experiences of mortality and thus his opportunity to repent, to keep God’s commandments in this earth life. It interferes with his potential of having ‘glory added upon [his head] for ever and ever.’ (Abraham 3:26.)” (Miracle of Forgiveness, pp. 195–96.)

Sad and Tired, But I Can Be the Change I Want to See.

For the last few days I've felt like there is a black cloud above me, my church, and Utah. We have been bombarded with reports about the excommunication of Kate Kelly. I have wasted countless hours reading not only articles, but comments on the articles. I gotta say my heart hurts.

I hurt for sister Kelly, for her priesthood leaders and ward family, for Ordain Women, for a new group called Strangers in Zion, for the Church leaders, and every member of this church. It is a sad time for us right now. A time of sifting you might say, as members are deciding which side they are going to stand on. I know that seems to be simplifying issues a bit, but that is what it comes down to. Do I stand with the Prophet, my Savior, and my Heavenly Father, or do I decide it is in my best interest to stand with a person, just like me, with no authority or power given to speak and act for the Church in behalf of God. To me this is a no brainer. Of course I side with the former group.

Others, however, are choosing a different side and it hurts. It is a sad time. It will probably be even sadder in the next few days as we are coming closer to another public disciplinary council. I'm tired.

I'm tired of reading about it over and over again. (You'd think I'd stay away from social media then wouldn't you, but I can't stop). I'm tired of the arguments about why women should be ordained. I'm tired that many feel there is no direct word from God so it needs to be changed. I'm tired that patterns in the scriptures, scriptures, The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and words of current Apostles are all being ignored. I'm tired that accusations are being thrown out about my beloved Prophet being a discriminator and worse my Savior as one well, because, lets face it, since the beginning this is how the church has been run. When Christ set up His church when he was on earth called 12 male apostles. I'm tired of people demanding what they want rather than being grateful that they have all they need. I'm so tired.

Even more than all of this, I'm tired of comments full of hate and anger. Satan thinks he is winning in this battle for the souls of men and he's not completely wrong. He is winning some hearts by leading people away because of desires and beliefs contradicting God's, and then those who claim they are on God's side he is leading astray with contentions. There is so much contention even/especially among members on these comment threads, it breaks my heart and makes me tired. Do we truly feel we are following Christ when we are rude to others? Do we think we can persuade others from the path they have chosen by Yelling!!! at them on social media? Contention is of the devil. Once we depart from lovingly testifying of truth and start yelling out our beliefs, even if backed by scriptures and the words of prophets, the Holy Ghost is gone and all teaching ceases. I usually don't get involved in the comments, I just read them and feel so sad. But....

I started a new motto the other day “Be the change you want to see in the world”. While reading comments on a news site I decided if I was going to be the change I want to see, I'm going to have to engage- civilly. So I did and had a very nice discussion with a stranger. She shared her side because I was not rude and defensive about my side. I shared my side some, but I could see early on that she wasn't going to be swayed. So I thanked her for the discussion, corrected somethings that I felt she had misunderstood I was saying that she used during arguments to others, and wished her a good night. When it was done I felt I had made a friend. We didn't persuade one another, but I think we could understand each other better. I felt relieved that it can be done. We can discuss issues civilly without fear of being persuaded away from what we know is right and without being able to persuade the other party to our way of thinking. It can be done and friendships can form in the process leading to more chances for discussion. Which can lead to helping our fellow man. My motto is all about doing, that is what I have to remember.

Instead of feeling so tired and sad, I need to go out and do. Live by my motto. I need to love and help those around me. I want the world to change, can I be strong enough to be the change I want to see? I think I can. With Heavens help I know I can. I hope we can all be a little better, a little kinder, a little meeker, and a little more loving. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Lesson Learned During The Sacrament Prayer

During the Sacrament (the blessing and passing of the bread and water which are symbols of Jesus Christ's sacrifice for us) I was listening more intently to the sacrament prayers. The prayer to bless the water can be found in Moroni 5:2 “O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee, in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.”

I started to reflect on the words “that they may witness unto thee... that they do always remember Him, that they may have His spirit to be with them.” I always new that participating in sacrament meeting was part of keeping my covenant of remembering Christ, but I had often wondered about those who tried to follow the Savior, but didn't come to church and partake of the sacrament. I thought they still are remembering Christ and while they are not getting the promised blessings from renewing their covenants, they can still be keeping their covenants. This prayer helped me to realize that more important than the thoughts and intents of my heart are my actions. Our actions witness of our true thoughts and intents. We witness where we stand and what we love, good or evil, to our Heavenly Father through our actions.

I had always been taught that my deeds mattered, and I've always believed that they do. This helps me understand why. More than what I profess to know or even what I think or feel, if I can't witness to God through my actions that I'm on His side, then I'm not really on His side. Something else is more important, more pressing for me than doing what He wants, which keeps me from giving Him my whole heart. This is what God requires of me, my whole heart and I witness to Him that I have given it or have held it back from Him through my actions.

I think of the ruler who came to Christ and asked what he needed to do for eternal life. Christ answered 20”Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.

21And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up.

22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.

23 And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he was very rich” (Luke 18:18-23). What the ruler lacked was willingness to give his whole heart to Christ. He witnessed his lack when he went away sorrowing, knowing he couldn't do what was asked of him.

When we give our heart the blessings from obedience flow, just as the prayer says “that they may always have His spirit to be with them.” This blessing comes after the witness of our willingness through partaking of the sacrament weekly. I think of the blessings Christ had waiting for the ruler after he gave a witness of his willing heart, and wonder how often blessings are held back from me because I witnessed an unwilling heart like the ruler did.

I hope and pray that I can witness to my Heavenly Father of my willing heart by daily praying to Him and reading His words, by being kind to all those around me, by reaching out and opening my mouth to speak His words, by weekly partaking of the Sacrament, by doing my visiting teaching, by attending the temple, by keeping my covenants. I hope my actions will witness of my willing heart in the end, that I might be received into His kingdom. In the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Disputing the Changing Doctrine Argument

I hope these are my last words on this subject, but who knows. The subject keeps coming back into public light. While arguing for the ordination of women to the priesthood many call upon other doctrine that has changed for reference and claim it is only a matter of time until this doctrine changes too. Anything is possible and if the prophet tomorrow said they were going to start ordaining woman, I would say okay.

However, I do want to address changing doctrine. Let's start with polygamy since it was the first thing "changed" in this dispensation. First, polygamy is not completely done away with. A man may be sealed to more than one wife and they all will be his in the eternities. What is no longer practiced is polygamy for the living. The doctrine had to be restored for the restoration of all things, that did not mean it had to continue to be practiced forever. The Book of Mormon teaches “For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none;

28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.

29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes.

30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.”

God commanded that those things be restored and when seed had been raised up and the gospel was spreading throughout this nation and to others, He said now live the law of one wife. I do not see this as doctrine being changed, it is all doctrine we lived one doctrine and when it was fulfilled we lived another.  I am not disputing that there was pressure from the government to change, of course there was.  What I believe is that when we started living the one wife doctrine instead of the plural wives, it was because the purposes for restoring the plural marriage doctrine had been fulfilled.  

Now let's discuss blacks and the priesthood. I do not have a lot of knowledge on this subject, but from what I gather from the scriptures, blacks today are not the seed of Cain, which some people have believed. This belief is strange to me, because from my scripture study it seems to me that Cain's seed was destroyed in the flood during Noah's time. I haven't found any other evidence that would say otherwise. After the flood Noah's son Ham was cursed with a skin of blackness and inherited the land of Canaan.  22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.

 23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.

 24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.

 25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren” (Genesis 9:22-25). “...and thus, from Ham, sprang that race which preserved the curse in the land” (Abraham 1:24). This, to me, seems the likely ancestry for blacks today.  But I don't really think the ancestry matters anyway.  The Lamanites, who were a cursed people, were taught the gospel and at one point became more righteous than the Nephites.  Cursings were not meant to be permanent from one generation to another.  Every one has the chance of choosing Christ and following Heavenly Father's prescribed way.  Christ's Atoning Sacrifice encompasses all men and all have a chance to repent.  All can be cleansed and reach their full potential.  

I only have an opinion about this, but it seems likely it was because of the feelings of the people as a whole in the country and around the world. If you look at our history it took many many years after laws were changed to discourage discrimination that discrimination actually began to lessen. Laws went in place after the civil war and more in the 1950's yet not until the late 60's and early 70's did we start to see equality. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints allowed blacks to hold the priesthood in the late 70's. So did culture and people's belief have something to do with this change? I believe it did, are there patterns of this type of change in the scriptures? I believe there is. When Christ was asked about divorce this was His answer “4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:4-8). 

Some practices are in place because of the culture and people and the hardness of our hearts. The Book of Mormon teaches that all are alike unto God.

“33 ... and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.” Once we could start to feel that the doctrines in the Book of Mormon were true and the culture around the world changed, this change that had been prayed for, for years, was able to be brought to pass. It was not doctrine that was changed but a pattern of practice.

So now let's explore ordaining women. Is there a pattern for ordaining woman in the scriptures? I have not seen any. Some argue that because Deborah was a Judge in Israel and had the Spirit of Prophesy that she must have been ordained to the priesthood. I do not believe this to be true. There was much wickedness in the time of the Judges. Deborah was a righteous woman given a calling, which according to Elder Oaks is priesthood authority and she was working under the keys that were on the earth at the time. She had influence on those around her even the men and she had a gift of the spirit, or power. Gifts of the Spirit or power in the Priesthood are available to all men, women, and children who have made and kept covenants with God. We all are entitled to the gifts of the spirit. I can point to many stories in the scriptures and in pioneer times when woman had been given these gifts and this power. I do not believe any of them were ordained to offices in the priesthood, the pattern in the scriptures is that this priesthood was passed from father to son. “  40 The order of this priesthood was confirmed to be handed down from father to son, and rightly belongs to the literal descendants of the chosen seed, to whom the promises were made.

 41 This order was instituted in the days of Adam....” Doctrine and Covenants 107: 40-41.

I guess none of this really matters though. What matters is God has restored everything in this dispensation that we need to return to Him and save our ancestors. He has not kept anything from us that we would need to reach our eternal destination, nor would He. If priesthood ordination is given to woman by God great, if it is not ever given to us great as well, because more important than being ordained to the priesthood is the power of the priesthood and that is mine to enjoy and call upon if I will make and keep sacred covenants. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

My treasure

Thirty eight years ago today, a baby boy entered this world. He was born in Murray, Utah to an English mother and an American Father. He grew up on a farm where he learned the blessing of hard work. He was taught to be respectful, hardworking, dedicated, and compassionate. When he was about 16 he moved away from the farm town he loved, from his friends and his high school, and from the area of Utah he'd always known.

His family moved to a small town in southern Utah called Hurricane. He didn't want to move, he was happy where he was, he had just started high school and didn't want to have to find all new friends. He really didn't have a choice in the matter, but his father tried to ease the worry and anxiety by telling him he would most likely meet the girl he would marry there. At 16 that wasn't much comfort for him, but he left all he'd ever known to go to Hurricane. I met this wonderful young man soon after his family moved and we quickly became friends.

2 years later this young man and I started dating, and not too many months later we had fallen in love. We were young which led to some breakups, but after 2 and 1/2 years we married. I am so grateful for his mother and father for bringing him into the world and teaching him the values that he holds to today. I am so grateful that his father and mother chose Hurricane of all places to move to. I guess I should say I am grateful that God led them to Hurricane of all places. I am so grateful he chose me.

He is an amazing husband, always kind, considerate, and patient with me. He is this way with everyone around him. He makes me a better person. He is an amazing father who loves his children so much.  I love and cherish each day we get to spend together. My life has been so greatly blessed because God brought the two of us together. Today, on his birthday, I want him to know how much he means to me, how much I love him, and how grateful I am that he chose me and that he chooses me everyday. He is my treasure. Because of God's love for us we can be together forever, besides living with God again, I can't imagine anything better.   

Women, the Priesthood, and practicing for perfection

The Ordain Women group (group advocating for women to be ordained to the priesthood) is at the forefront of discussion in the LDS community again as another general conference approaches (meeting of all members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, where apostles of Jesus Christ, His chosen Prophet, and other members in general leadership positions teach and testify). My thoughts have turned to the subject of women, equality and priesthood ordination as well. The best way for me to clear my head and move on to more pressing matters such as my children, my oceanography test, my other classes, my lesson for my calling in my church on Sunday, etc, is for me to get my thoughts out in writing. 

First, I love my Heavenly Father so much. I know He lives and that He loves me. I know He has a plan for me and all His children to return to Him, receive eternal life (meaning to live with Him forever, inherit all that He has, become like Him, and continue my family relationships that I cherish so much here on earth). I know that He has provided me with everything that I need to reach my full potential. He does not hold anything back that is necessary for me to return to Him. Some may not feel this way. Many have not had the opportunity to be sealed to a spouse for eternity in the temple, but those blessings have been promised by modern prophets to those who endure faithfully to the end. He will not exclude any who have faithfully kept covenants.

Second, I love my role as co-creator, with my husband, of bodies for His spirit children and my role as a mother. One of the arguments made for priesthood ordination for women is that fatherhood is equal to motherhood, rendering motherhood a poor excuse for denying women the priesthood. However, I do not believe that fatherhood is equal to motherhood. I sacrifice 9 months to grow and carry a tiny body. I put my life at risk at the end of those 9 months pushing the now 6-7 pound baby out of my body. I sacrifice sleep for the next few months to feed the baby when he/she wakes because of hunger. My husband could sacrifice his sleep, but he can't give the baby what he/she needs so eventually I will have to get up and feed the baby. While my amazing husband spends his days working to provide for our family, I play, feed, change, cleanup after, love, and guide this little baby. We add more babies and start the routine again. When the children are grown and go to school, I get up with them to get them off to school. I am the one to greet them as they come in the door, ask about homework, and discuss what is happening in their life. I fix their food and shop for their clothes. Many text books on marriage and family relationships provide evidence that motherhood and fatherhood are not equal. Referring to families where both parents work, they discuss a second shift for women. While the discussions are mostly negative, I find it comforting to know that working moms come home and nurture, guide, and take care of their families.

I hope readers do not feel that I am putting down fatherhood. Fathers are so important in their children's lives. My children have the best father I could ask for. All I am saying is that in MY experience fatherhood and motherhood are not equal.  The priesthood authority is the great equalizer.  Men are called upon to lead their families in love and righteousness, give their infants names and blessings, bless their children when they are in need, and perform needed ordinances for them to return to live with Heavenly Father again.  I would never desire to take those opportunities away from my amazing husband.  My sister once said (and I agree) that women work with God for the salvation of His children by providing a way for them to come to earth and men work with God for the salvation of His children as they provide the needed ordinances for them to return to Him.  Each part is of equal importance.  

Next, I know that this is Christ's church restored to the earth through revelation and with His guiding hand. Revelation is sought after and received by the prophet who leads the entire church. We can pray, seek for, and receive revelation for our own lives and for those we have stewardship over. We can ask for things we need and with faith receive all that our Father wants us to have. We can petition the Lord for changes we feel are necessary. Then we wait on the Lord with patience and obedience to His laws and ordinances, showing respect for His way and timing, keeping our covenants, and supporting and sustaining His chosen prophet.  If we do not receive the answer we were hoping for, then with faith and trust continue on, enduring to the end, seeking for understanding, being "...willling to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him (us)...."  Mosiah 3:19

Lastly, my temple endowment assures me that all the blessings and power of the priesthood are mine.  For me, that is enough.  I am very happy with my church callings, with how my church is run, with my role in the church and God's kingdom, and my partnership with my husband. However, I am very aware that others have not had the same experiences I have had and who do not share my same feelings and thoughts on the subject. I know there are some who have been hurt and who need love and friendship. There are so many different members with so many different life experiences. There are some who see and feel inequality. I cannot know what has led some to feel differently than I do. I feel that my job as a follower of Christ is to be kind, gentle, meek, to speak and testify when prompted by the Holy Ghost, to serve, and to pray that they can find answers, comfort, and the love and belonging they seek. I do not often do my job well, but as I learned from a sister I look up to, I am practicing and practice makes perfect. May we all practice understanding, patience, and loving kindness, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

God Loves Gays and So Do I

Have you ever seen the signs that some people protest same-sex marriage with, you know the ones “God Hates Gays”.  These signs infuriate me. What they are in actuality saying is that “God Hates Sinners”, “God Hates People”, and finally “God Hates His Children”. Nothing could be further from the truth. God loves His children and all of us are sinners except for His Son, Jesus Christ. We all are in need of redemption and saving. That is why Christ came, and He suffered and died for all sins so that all might repent and come unto Him and be saved, not just the heterosexual sinner.

So let's discuss God's given doctrines on marriage and families. First, God's plan is a family plan. The outcome of the plan is for His eternal family to gain salvation (return and live with God again) because our Heavenly Father loves all of His children. In order for this to be accomplished His spirit children need to come to earth and receive bodies.  Then, they need to choose God's plan for them, repent of sins, and love one another. A man and a woman were given pro-creative powers together, that they might create bodies for the spirit children of God. These powers are only to be used in that relationship after the man and woman have covenanted to remain together always (marriage).  Those who have not had the chance to be married for eternity are promised that those blessings, if they are righteous, will not be held back from them.

We know that the marriage God has commanded, accepts, and endorses is between a man and a woman.  Righteous husbands and wives who are not able to have children here on earth will be able to have children in the eternities. God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. Earthly relationship types that produce increase here will continue to do so and those that don't will not be able to. Homosexual couples cannot have increase. They cannot continue family lines, not now or in the eternities.

The scriptures teach there is opposition in all things. Same-sex marriage is the opposition to God's prescribed way, and it brings with it the opposite result. Where God's plan brings eternal increase and happiness, Satan's way brings misery.

While God loves all of His children, He desires them to follow His plan and His way.  If we choose not to follow His ways, we receive less in the eternities.

If we have chosen a different path than the one God has prescribed, there is good news, it is not too late to repent, to choose a different path, that leads back to God. If we love our gay friends and family we will show them love through service, testifying of Christ and His love for them and His eternal sacrifice for them which makes it possible for them and us to overcome weaknesses and our natural man tendencies, and repent of sins.  We will testify to them that God has a plan for them and that He wants them to return to Him.  He wants so much more for them than what bodily appetites can offer.

Brothers and sisters, I believe that there is forgiveness after we die, but not until after this: "Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection- Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life" (Alma 40:11).

I believe the saddest, most miserable event we could experience is our spirits returning to God and remembering who we were, what we promised to do, how much we were loved by and loved God and Jesus Christ; and knowing we did not live up to those promises, that we didn't find that love here or that we denied it, and that we went backward in our progression instead of forward. I can't imagine more weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth than what will be experienced by us if our choices here lead us to these consequences. My heart breaks for those who might experience this and I plead that I can be what I need to be that this might not be my lot. We will meet God again. Jesus' sacrifice ensures a return to His presence to be judged according to our works here.

Alma 42: 1 "And now, my son, I perceive there is somewhat more which doth worry your mind, which ye cannot understand- which is concerning the justice of God in the punishment of the sinner, for ye do try to suppose that it is injustice that the sinner should be consigned to a state of misery."
25. " What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit.  If so, God would cease to be God."
27. " Therefore, O my son, whosoever will come may come and partake of the waters of life freely; and whosoever will not come the same is not compelled to come; but in the last day it shall be restored unto him according to his deeds."
30. " O my son, I desire that ye should deny the justice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility."

Please, don't be deceived by the great deceiver. Don't let him trap you in sin and in a relationship that has no way of continuing on. Accept God and Jesus Christ. Believe in them, repent, be baptized, receive the Holy Ghost who can guide and direct you and bring love and comfort to your soul, and endure to the end, that eternal life, increase, and happiness that you cannot even imagine can be yours. I love you, God loves you, and Christ loves you and suffered and died to save you. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.