Sad and Tired, But I Can Be the Change I Want to See.

For the last few days I've felt like there is a black cloud above me, my church, and Utah. We have been bombarded with reports about the excommunication of Kate Kelly. I have wasted countless hours reading not only articles, but comments on the articles. I gotta say my heart hurts.

I hurt for sister Kelly, for her priesthood leaders and ward family, for Ordain Women, for a new group called Strangers in Zion, for the Church leaders, and every member of this church. It is a sad time for us right now. A time of sifting you might say, as members are deciding which side they are going to stand on. I know that seems to be simplifying issues a bit, but that is what it comes down to. Do I stand with the Prophet, my Savior, and my Heavenly Father, or do I decide it is in my best interest to stand with a person, just like me, with no authority or power given to speak and act for the Church in behalf of God. To me this is a no brainer. Of course I side with the former group.

Others, however, are choosing a different side and it hurts. It is a sad time. It will probably be even sadder in the next few days as we are coming closer to another public disciplinary council. I'm tired.

I'm tired of reading about it over and over again. (You'd think I'd stay away from social media then wouldn't you, but I can't stop). I'm tired of the arguments about why women should be ordained. I'm tired that many feel there is no direct word from God so it needs to be changed. I'm tired that patterns in the scriptures, scriptures, The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and words of current Apostles are all being ignored. I'm tired that accusations are being thrown out about my beloved Prophet being a discriminator and worse my Savior as one well, because, lets face it, since the beginning this is how the church has been run. When Christ set up His church when he was on earth called 12 male apostles. I'm tired of people demanding what they want rather than being grateful that they have all they need. I'm so tired.

Even more than all of this, I'm tired of comments full of hate and anger. Satan thinks he is winning in this battle for the souls of men and he's not completely wrong. He is winning some hearts by leading people away because of desires and beliefs contradicting God's, and then those who claim they are on God's side he is leading astray with contentions. There is so much contention even/especially among members on these comment threads, it breaks my heart and makes me tired. Do we truly feel we are following Christ when we are rude to others? Do we think we can persuade others from the path they have chosen by Yelling!!! at them on social media? Contention is of the devil. Once we depart from lovingly testifying of truth and start yelling out our beliefs, even if backed by scriptures and the words of prophets, the Holy Ghost is gone and all teaching ceases. I usually don't get involved in the comments, I just read them and feel so sad. But....

I started a new motto the other day “Be the change you want to see in the world”. While reading comments on a news site I decided if I was going to be the change I want to see, I'm going to have to engage- civilly. So I did and had a very nice discussion with a stranger. She shared her side because I was not rude and defensive about my side. I shared my side some, but I could see early on that she wasn't going to be swayed. So I thanked her for the discussion, corrected somethings that I felt she had misunderstood I was saying that she used during arguments to others, and wished her a good night. When it was done I felt I had made a friend. We didn't persuade one another, but I think we could understand each other better. I felt relieved that it can be done. We can discuss issues civilly without fear of being persuaded away from what we know is right and without being able to persuade the other party to our way of thinking. It can be done and friendships can form in the process leading to more chances for discussion. Which can lead to helping our fellow man. My motto is all about doing, that is what I have to remember.

Instead of feeling so tired and sad, I need to go out and do. Live by my motto. I need to love and help those around me. I want the world to change, can I be strong enough to be the change I want to see? I think I can. With Heavens help I know I can. I hope we can all be a little better, a little kinder, a little meeker, and a little more loving. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Lesson Learned During The Sacrament Prayer

During the Sacrament (the blessing and passing of the bread and water which are symbols of Jesus Christ's sacrifice for us) I was listening more intently to the sacrament prayers. The prayer to bless the water can be found in Moroni 5:2 “O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee, in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.”

I started to reflect on the words “that they may witness unto thee... that they do always remember Him, that they may have His spirit to be with them.” I always new that participating in sacrament meeting was part of keeping my covenant of remembering Christ, but I had often wondered about those who tried to follow the Savior, but didn't come to church and partake of the sacrament. I thought they still are remembering Christ and while they are not getting the promised blessings from renewing their covenants, they can still be keeping their covenants. This prayer helped me to realize that more important than the thoughts and intents of my heart are my actions. Our actions witness of our true thoughts and intents. We witness where we stand and what we love, good or evil, to our Heavenly Father through our actions.

I had always been taught that my deeds mattered, and I've always believed that they do. This helps me understand why. More than what I profess to know or even what I think or feel, if I can't witness to God through my actions that I'm on His side, then I'm not really on His side. Something else is more important, more pressing for me than doing what He wants, which keeps me from giving Him my whole heart. This is what God requires of me, my whole heart and I witness to Him that I have given it or have held it back from Him through my actions.

I think of the ruler who came to Christ and asked what he needed to do for eternal life. Christ answered 20”Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.

21And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up.

22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.

23 And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he was very rich” (Luke 18:18-23). What the ruler lacked was willingness to give his whole heart to Christ. He witnessed his lack when he went away sorrowing, knowing he couldn't do what was asked of him.

When we give our heart the blessings from obedience flow, just as the prayer says “that they may always have His spirit to be with them.” This blessing comes after the witness of our willingness through partaking of the sacrament weekly. I think of the blessings Christ had waiting for the ruler after he gave a witness of his willing heart, and wonder how often blessings are held back from me because I witnessed an unwilling heart like the ruler did.

I hope and pray that I can witness to my Heavenly Father of my willing heart by daily praying to Him and reading His words, by being kind to all those around me, by reaching out and opening my mouth to speak His words, by weekly partaking of the Sacrament, by doing my visiting teaching, by attending the temple, by keeping my covenants. I hope my actions will witness of my willing heart in the end, that I might be received into His kingdom. In the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Disputing the Changing Doctrine Argument

I hope these are my last words on this subject, but who knows. The subject keeps coming back into public light. While arguing for the ordination of women to the priesthood many call upon other doctrine that has changed for reference and claim it is only a matter of time until this doctrine changes too. Anything is possible and if the prophet tomorrow said they were going to start ordaining woman, I would say okay.

However, I do want to address changing doctrine. Let's start with polygamy since it was the first thing "changed" in this dispensation. First, polygamy is not completely done away with. A man may be sealed to more than one wife and they all will be his in the eternities. What is no longer practiced is polygamy for the living. The doctrine had to be restored for the restoration of all things, that did not mean it had to continue to be practiced forever. The Book of Mormon teaches “For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none;

28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.

29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes.

30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.”

God commanded that those things be restored and when seed had been raised up and the gospel was spreading throughout this nation and to others, He said now live the law of one wife. I do not see this as doctrine being changed, it is all doctrine we lived one doctrine and when it was fulfilled we lived another.  I am not disputing that there was pressure from the government to change, of course there was.  What I believe is that when we started living the one wife doctrine instead of the plural wives, it was because the purposes for restoring the plural marriage doctrine had been fulfilled.  

Now let's discuss blacks and the priesthood. I do not have a lot of knowledge on this subject, but from what I gather from the scriptures, blacks today are not the seed of Cain, which some people have believed. This belief is strange to me, because from my scripture study it seems to me that Cain's seed was destroyed in the flood during Noah's time. I haven't found any other evidence that would say otherwise. After the flood Noah's son Ham was cursed with a skin of blackness and inherited the land of Canaan.  22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.

 23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.

 24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.

 25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren” (Genesis 9:22-25). “...and thus, from Ham, sprang that race which preserved the curse in the land” (Abraham 1:24). This, to me, seems the likely ancestry for blacks today.  But I don't really think the ancestry matters anyway.  The Lamanites, who were a cursed people, were taught the gospel and at one point became more righteous than the Nephites.  Cursings were not meant to be permanent from one generation to another.  Every one has the chance of choosing Christ and following Heavenly Father's prescribed way.  Christ's Atoning Sacrifice encompasses all men and all have a chance to repent.  All can be cleansed and reach their full potential.  

I only have an opinion about this, but it seems likely it was because of the feelings of the people as a whole in the country and around the world. If you look at our history it took many many years after laws were changed to discourage discrimination that discrimination actually began to lessen. Laws went in place after the civil war and more in the 1950's yet not until the late 60's and early 70's did we start to see equality. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints allowed blacks to hold the priesthood in the late 70's. So did culture and people's belief have something to do with this change? I believe it did, are there patterns of this type of change in the scriptures? I believe there is. When Christ was asked about divorce this was His answer “4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:4-8). 

Some practices are in place because of the culture and people and the hardness of our hearts. The Book of Mormon teaches that all are alike unto God.

“33 ... and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.” Once we could start to feel that the doctrines in the Book of Mormon were true and the culture around the world changed, this change that had been prayed for, for years, was able to be brought to pass. It was not doctrine that was changed but a pattern of practice.

So now let's explore ordaining women. Is there a pattern for ordaining woman in the scriptures? I have not seen any. Some argue that because Deborah was a Judge in Israel and had the Spirit of Prophesy that she must have been ordained to the priesthood. I do not believe this to be true. There was much wickedness in the time of the Judges. Deborah was a righteous woman given a calling, which according to Elder Oaks is priesthood authority and she was working under the keys that were on the earth at the time. She had influence on those around her even the men and she had a gift of the spirit, or power. Gifts of the Spirit or power in the Priesthood are available to all men, women, and children who have made and kept covenants with God. We all are entitled to the gifts of the spirit. I can point to many stories in the scriptures and in pioneer times when woman had been given these gifts and this power. I do not believe any of them were ordained to offices in the priesthood, the pattern in the scriptures is that this priesthood was passed from father to son. “  40 The order of this priesthood was confirmed to be handed down from father to son, and rightly belongs to the literal descendants of the chosen seed, to whom the promises were made.

 41 This order was instituted in the days of Adam....” Doctrine and Covenants 107: 40-41.

I guess none of this really matters though. What matters is God has restored everything in this dispensation that we need to return to Him and save our ancestors. He has not kept anything from us that we would need to reach our eternal destination, nor would He. If priesthood ordination is given to woman by God great, if it is not ever given to us great as well, because more important than being ordained to the priesthood is the power of the priesthood and that is mine to enjoy and call upon if I will make and keep sacred covenants. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.