Leaving the Darkness for the Light

The Dark ages was a thousand year period (roughly) that began about 500 years after the death of Christ.  It is described as the Dark Ages because it was a time of chaos, war, disease, and a time of intellectual and cultural stagnation.  The classes of people were so divided that only property owners or lords were educated and the rest worked for long hours and little pay with no way of improving their situations.  This led to a stagnation of learning and growth.  Some claim the Catholic Church worked to stifle scientific study and discovery, most likely because of fear.  These were some of the most difficult times in all civilization.  In the Book of Mormon, this period or just before it (300-400 ad) is described as some of the bloodiest, barbaric times ever experienced by their civilizations and their records span the years from 600 BC to 400 AD. 

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we believe that the death of Christ and His apostles brought about a time of spiritual darkness.  All but one of the apostles were killed and all priesthood authority was taken from the earth.  Without spiritual light and knowledge, the times were certainly dark and would remain that way until the world was ready for righteousness and truth to be restored.  These were the darkest of times.

I have been contemplating recently the “Dark ages” of my life.  There may be some that have never experienced “Dark Ages” or maybe have experienced times of “brown outs” where the lights don’t quite go out, but flicker a bit or become weak. I, however, have experienced a short period of my life that I would describe as “Dark Ages”.  It was dark because of chaos (confusion, transitions, and uncertainties), fear, and sin.  Much like the “Dark Ages” of the past, there was a war going on about who I wanted to be and the opposing choices I was making.  The disease of sin was overcoming me and I was succumbing to the destructive influences.  Truthfully, I was lost and didn’t really know it.  At the time, I didn’t feel lost.  I knew the way home.  I just wasn’t ready to move toward it yet.  I was willing and content to play in the darkness without wandering too far from the path I knew would lead me home.  I didn’t realize until sometime later how far off the path I had gone and how difficult it had become to find my way back. What I didn’t understand was that it is not possible to wander off the path and not get lost and have to struggle to come home again.  

I wanted to live in the light, but my choices were leading me further and further into the darkness.  Fortunately, this period didn’t last too long.  I needed a change, I needed spiritual light.  The darkness was full of despair, confusion, and sometimes loneliness.   I didn’t want to live like that anymore.  Things had to change.  I had to change!  I had to right my wrongs.  I couldn’t live in the light making wrong choices.  I had to repent. 

Repentance is such a wonderful, freeing process.  Many times we think of repentance as scary, too difficult, and painful.  While, all of these feelings are present before repentance, the process is truly freeing, relieving, and healing.  Repentance requires an admittance of wrong doing.  I was ready to do that, yes I had sinned.  The next step is to feel sorrow and not just the “oh shoot, I got caught” sorrow, but the “I have broken my Father’s commandments and have turned away from Him” sorrow.  Then we confess to whom we have hurt or trespassed against and to our Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ and make restitution where possible.  Lastly, we resolve never to commit that wrong again. 

Restitution is an important step because this should bring peace to both parties.  Payment, in some way, is made to the offended and the offender has the peace of knowing they have done all that they could to pay for their mistake.  Sometimes, there is no restitution we can make, we can apologize, we can stop the behavior, but there are times when we cannot undo, give back, or make up for what we have done.  In times like these, peace comes from turning to our Bishop and confessing to him our mistakes.  Sometimes doing this brings, what many in the LDS church term punishments.  I like to think of them as chances to make some kind of restitution.   We can be faithful to whatever our judge asks of us and in that way we are able to show obedience and humility.  As we act faithfully and obediently, the peace of doing all we can to resolve our wrongs encompasses us.  Then we can feel the peace of forgiveness and become full partakers of the light.  The process is beautiful!  AND it is only possible because “God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son.” 

Without my Savior I would still be lost, living in darkness, and in despair.   I promise that repentance is possible, forgiveness is real.  Our Savior paid for all of our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the Cross of Calvary.    We all can live in light and truth as we repent (or turn back to the God who gave us life).  I wish I had the words to describe my feelings about my Savior, His all-encompassing love, and atoning sacrifice for us.  Instead I will share Nephi’s words “I glory in my Jesus, for He hath redeemed my soul from hell” (2 Nephi 33:6).  I know Jesus lives and He suffered and died for us.  I know He has overcome death and hell.   We can live in His love and His light as we repent and strive to be obedient to His commandments.   I am a living witness that the redemptive power of the Savior is real, we can overcome our weaknesses and put our past mistakes behind us. We can move on, change, and become what our Heavenly Father and Savior want us to become.  It is possible.  We are not our mistakes, we are children of God with the potential to become as He is.  My prayer is that the light, love, and peace of Our Savior will fill our hearts this Christmas season and always.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.