My Grandmas funeral was on Tuesday Dec. 20, 2011. In her obituary it said she is preceded in death by her father and mother, 4 brothers, 4 sisters, her Husband and 3 sons. (what a happy reunion that must have been) and she is survived by 3 children, 22 Grandchildren, 91 Great grandchildren and 15 great great grandchildren (what a posterity).
A little about my Grandmas sons that died. One was a baby who lived about 36 hours. He was born with a hole in his stomach. The next one was 21 or 22. He was going to school in Texas after his mission he was in a car accident and was killed. The third was my Dad who had a heart attack. I shared that because I remember visiting with my grandma once and we somehow started talking about her baby who had died and she told me that she thought it was because she had taken some medicine. She told me that there had been family staying with them or something like that and she was getting lots of headaches and so she was taking asprin I don't know how often but at least once a day for a week or two (during her pregnancy) and she told me that she thought because of the asprin he had developed a hole in his stomach. I felt really bad, I didn't really know what to say I was thinking how sad that she thinks she had caused her baby's death. But the way she told it, it didn't really sound like she was blaming herself or that she was full of regret because of it. She just kind of said it matter of factly. Maybe that was because of how much time had gone by or maybe she had the faith to know it was meant to be but whatever it was I was glad she shared this with me and I was so impressed with her strength to share it without all the sorrow and regret I expected it would bring up. She was a pillar of faith and strength.
I learned at her funeral some wonderful stories about her. I also learned that around Thanksgiving she let her children know she wouldn't be here for very much longer. She knew her time was short, but didn't know exactly when she would go. She died on Thursday Dec. 15th. She got her temple recommend renewed 2 weeks before she died. She was too sick to visit the temple but she wanted to have a current temple recommend. One story that I love, was told by my aunt who heard it from someone else because my grandma would have never shared it. When she was pregnant with one of her kids she hand made an outfit. Before her baby was born another couple nearby had a baby and it died. They didn't have money to buy the baby an outfit to be buried in so my grandmother took her handmade outfit for her baby to this couple to use for their baby.
My aunt (my grandmas only daughter) also told us that she had found a history that my grandma had been writing and she shared the first paragraph of it with us I remember the first line. I can't quote it exactly but it went something like this "My life has been uneventfully happy with a few incidents of sadness (maybe she said sorrow)." This line really surprised my aunt and me because my grandma lost 3 children, and her husband whom she loved dearly. She lived alone for over 19 years then was moved into a home because she needed a lot of care. But she had lived a happy life. So though you might look at her life and think it was a hard life with lots of sadness. To her it was a happy life with a little bit of sadness. I remember visiting her when she was still living alone but had started to need a lot of care. My children, some of whom were little and didn't know better, asked her if she was going to die. She said that she didn't think she was going to die anytime soon nor did she want to. I asked, because I'm not proper and was curious, why she wanted to stay here. (I can't remember how I worded it, I don't think she was offended we were just having a frank conversation) anyway, she said there was a great great grandbaby being born in a few months and she had a son and daughter-in-law who were out in the mission field and were returning home in a few months as well, these were things she was looking forward to. I left thinking these things will always be going on she will never be ready to leave us. But I think when her time came she made sure she was ready to leave us but until then she would look forward to all the wonderful things going on in her family members lives. She was happy, she was content with what life had in store for her and enjoyed each day. What an amazing woman.
On the back of the program for the funeral was some advice she wanted to leave everyone. I love this and treasure these words from her. I love that they are not just words but that they are how she lived her life. They are her example for us. Here is what she said "Some advice I would like to give my posterity is to not wish your life away, just enjoy everyday as it comes along. Never forget to pray, 'Pray as if your life depends upon it and then get off your knees and go to work.' Always remember that even if you love your spouse, to cherish is more important. I really cherished Wayne (her husband), and I just think that a lot of people profess love but they don't take care of loved ones the way they should. I love all of you, from the oldest to the youngest. Love, Mom and Grandma." How special it is to have this.
My uncle Raymond, her second son talked of what a loving mother she was and how they were never spanked at least that he could remember. This brought back to me another memory of a talk I had with my grandma. I visited my grandma when my older kids were smaller and she gave me some parenting advice. She told me if you are going to spank your kids you do it before the age of 2. They are old enough to learn but too young to remember being spanked. My grandma's college education was in Home economics and child development. Hence the great cook and the wonderful Mother she was to her children. She sounded like the perfect mother. I am sure this is a slight exaggeration but I'm also sure she was a very loving, selfless mother.
I left her funeral wanting to be closer to the family, the extended family, wanting to be a better mother, A better wife, a better friend, a kinder neighbor, a better servant to Heavenly Father, I hope one day I can be like she is.
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