My Conversion process

A little while ago I posted a blog on Testimony vs. Conversion. I've been thinking the last couple of days about my conversion to the gospel of Christ. I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints since I was eight years old. I've been attending church since I was a baby. Looking back I feel I've had a testimony most of my life but I feel like I've been converted to the gospel only the last couple of years. I thought I'd share my process with you. I call it a process because it wasn't a one time "WOW" thing, it happened over a period of time. It first started when I was reading a book series by Chris Stewart, an LDS author, called "The Great and the Terrible". The first book starts out in the premortal life or the time before we were born. (As Latter Day Saints we know that our spirits lived before we were born, with Heavenly Father where we learned and progressed as much as we could but need to get bodies and be tried and tested here in mortality.) The characters were righteous and when they were ready to come to earth they would have important missions to fulfill. Well this started me thinking about my mission and what I was supposed to do here. I started to read my patriarchal blessing. ("Patriarchal blessings are given to worthy members of the Church by ordained patriarchs. Patriarchal blessings include a declaration of a person's lineage in the house of Israel and contain personal counsel from the Lord. As a person studies his or her patriarchal blessing and follows the counsel it contains, it will provide guidance, comfort, and protection." LDS.org).
I started to read my blessing and realized I was falling short of the things I was supposed to be doing. I realized I could have a great work to do if I was doing the things my blessing counseled me to do. I started to think of the scripture "Many are called few are chosen." I read my blessing every week for a while and started wondering if it was too late to be chosen for the mission I felt I had been called at one time to do. A few months later I started reading "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by Spencer W. Kimball. I read the chapter about sins of omission. Which talks about how we keep the don'ts of the commandments but leave out the do's. It helped me once again to realize there was so much more I could be doing. Then a few weeks later I was asked to speak in church about spiritual experiences. As I prepared for the talk I thought back about spiritual experiences I had and realized that Heavenly Father had blessed me greatly and yet I hadn't really changed or became better. I once again was given the oppertunity to see a need for change. I began to desire this change. I wanted so much to be better and be the person my patriarchal blessing described. I desired to be one of the chosen and not just called. I still worried that it could be too late. Then when I was reading the Book of Mormon ,in Alma of course (love that book) the answer came to me of how I still could be chosen. Alma 13:3-10. Now these scriptures are talking about High priests in the priesthood but I likened these scriptures unto myself. It talks about people called for the work and in the premortal life are on the same standing as those chosen but because of choices and hardening their hearts the privilege was not theirs. verse 4 "And thus they have been called to this holy calling on account of their faith, while others would reject the spirit of God on account of the hardness of their hearts and the blindness of their mind, while, if it had not been for this they might have had as great privilege as their brethren." And then verse 10 told me what I needed to do ".... and it was on account of their exceeding faith and "REPENTANCE" and their righteousness before God, they CHOOSING TO REPENT AND WORK RIGHTEOUSNESS rather than perish." So I needed to repent, have exceeding faith, and work righteousness. I really tried to be better. Pray, Ponder, Study the scriptures, attend the temple, work hard in my calling, do my visiting teaching, family scripture reading. Now I am not perfect at these things at all but as I tried to work hard at doing them, changes happened. I could feel the Holy Ghost so much more and recognize promtings better, easier. I loved doing these things instead of feeling like I had to do them. I saw people as brothers and sisters and desired and still desire to help and care for them. I desired to share the gospel and when those around me had life questions I was able to share gospel principles that I knew to be true and a great help. I loved living the gospel and it wasn't a sacrifice at all to do these things because the blessings were so great. I also started to see how much I still had to work on. The closer I felt to God the more I could see I needed to do. I still have a lot to work on but I never want to go back to the time before when I feel like I was spiritually surviving. Spiritually living AKA conversion to the gospel is so much better. Now please don't think that I think that I am ready for Celestial Glory or anything. I still fall short a lot repentance is a big part of my life. I have a lot to work on, but I know who I am and what I can be and I feel closer to my Heavenly Father than I ever have before. I feel my heart has been changed. I am so greatful for a loving Heavenly Father who has given me this great blessing and for my Savior who made this change and continued repentance possible. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Politics and Health care reform

Sorry to be political today. I use my blog for religious thoughts but today I felt strongly to write some feelings on the health care reform bill that congress or the majority of congress thinks they need to push through. I read a blog today that talked about how some members of congress want to pass the bill with the public option even though the american people are against it. This is what the leaders want so, too bad for the people basically. Why is it only reform if there is a public option. Why is that one thing so important? Can health care be made better without it? Yes. Can health care be made better with it? In my opinion No. So why are we pushing so hard on this thing that most Americans don't want? Here is a quote from an anonymous source in the white house from a blog I read called Stratosphere, "

“I don’t understand why the left of the left has decided that this is their Waterloo,” said a senior White House adviser, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “We’ve gotten to this point where health care on the left is determined by the breadth of the public option. I don’t understand how that has become the measure of whether what we achieve is health-care reform.”

“It’s a mystifying thing,” he added. “We’re forgetting why we are in this.”

Why is it so important. In my humble opinion this is no longer about health care, I'm not sure it ever was to tell you the truth because there are much simpler ways to fix it, this is about growing goverment. Bigger than it ever has been before. It is about taking away freedoms that were fought so hard for and that men and women in uniform still fight for today. We cannot allow our goverment to ignore our voices. We need to pay attention to what our Representatives and Senators vote for and if it is against our wishes Vote them out. We cannot allow them to take our freedoms and make this country a socialist state. I truly believe that this is not about health care but getting as much control over us as they can and we as americans cannot let this happen.

Testimony vs. conversion

I began pondering on the difference of testimony and conversion and Elder Dalin H. Oaks of the quorem of the 12 apostles has a really good talk on this subject "The Challenge to Become". You can find that on LDS.org and search for testimony conversion. Anyway I read his talk and I remembered Alma in the Book of Mormon had a great chapter on this. It is in Alma chapter 5. He asks the members of the church, not non members, but the baptized members of the church if they "have spiritually been born of God. "Have they received His, Jesus Christs', image in their countenances? Have ye experienced a mighty change in your hearts? Alma goes on to explain what we would be doing if we have been born again and converted to the gospel of Christ. "Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you? Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality..., to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?" "Have ye walked keeping yourselves blameless before God? "Have ye been sufficiently humble"? "Are ye stripped of pride, of envy"? Do we help the poor and needy? And then he tells the people of the church to repent and gives it by way of commandment and then he says to non members "I speak by way of invitation, saying come and be baptized unto repentance, that ye also may be partakers of the fruit of the tree of life." I believe when we truly become converted to the gospel and are spiritually born of God we see people as brothers and sisters and want to teach them and help them and love them. We want to keep the commandments and go to the temple and attend church and serve those around us because we love God and know we are His children and feel close to him when we do these things. Now once we have been born again does that mean we are beyond making mistakes? No, Alma asks in chapter 5 verse 26 "...if ye have experienced a change of heart... can ye feel so now." this verse says to me that without diligence to the commandments we can succomb to the power of temptation and fall away. We have to be vigilant and "watch and pray always lest ye enter into temptation." May we as members of the church be converted to the gospel be born again, Born of God and then help those around us In the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Agency

I have been thinking about agency lately, not only pertaining to things on earth, but ultimately our final destination is about choice. Many scriptures tell us that we are free to choose. Free to choose life and happiness or darkness and misery. If we desire things of the telestial world then that is where we will want to be. If we choose things of the celestial world then that is what we will strive for. These are some of my favorite scriptures about this subject. 2 Nephi 2:27-29 "Wherefore men are free according to the flesh;.... And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life through the great Mediator of all men or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself. "
"And now my sons, I would that ye should look to that great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;
And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom.
And then 2 Nephi 10:23-25 "Therefore cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves-to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life."
"wherefore my beloved brotheren, reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not the will of the devil and the flesh ; and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved."
"Wherefore, may God raise you from death by the power of the resurrection, and also from everlasting death by the power of the atonement, that ye may be received into the eternal kingdom of God, that ye may praise him through grace divine. Amen.
Alma chapters 12 and 13 are really good as well.
If we can overcome our own desires, through faith on Jesus Christ and repentance, and desire the things of the spirit then we will receive eternal life and happiness. May we all be able to overcome the flesh and desire all that is good and of God, that we may live with Him again. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Infinite and Eternal Sacrifice

My last few posts have been about sacrifice. Sunday was Fast and Testimony meeting in the LDS church's sacrament meeting, so I have been thinking since then of the great and last sacrifice the infinite and eternal sacrifice, that of Jesus Christ our brother, friend, and Savior. My 4 children were sick on Sunday and my husband stayed home with them. My niece and nephews (2) that come with us did family things so I was at church by myself. Before the Sacrament ( bread and water) was to be passed, I thought no children to quiet down or take care of what am I going to do. So I had decided to use this time to pray and think about things in my life I need to repent of and change and how I can be better this week. Then the thought came to me that I should open up my scriptures and read about the Atonement and Crusifiction of the Savior Jesus Christ. So I argued with myself for a second or 2 about which was better and then decided that both were equally good and better yet the thought to open my scriptures most likely came from the Holy Ghost. I took out my bible and read in Matthew and Luke about the sacrifice for sin in the garden of Gethsemane and in Matthew Luke and John about the death on the cross. I felt the spirit so strongly as I read these scriptures. And some things really stood out to me. For Example it is incredible to me that he would suffer so much pain and anguish for me. I know it is not just for me but He did it for me as well. Also, how loving and perfect our Savior is. While on the cross, after suffering so much in the garden of Gethsemane, being whipped enough times to kill a normal man, a crown of thorns placed on His head and then nails driven into His hands and feet and wrists and a sword wound in His side, with all of this pain he still has the love and patience to take care of His mother and then asks Heavenly Father to forgive the soldiers because "they know not what they do". I thought of how when Iam sick or in pain or even just tired how impatient I am with my children and yet here He is suffering more than any of us will ever know and He is thinking about all those around Him. It is Amazing to me. Then because of this Great and Last Sacrifice, Infinite and Eternal, we are able to repent and return to our Heavenly Home again. And They are there patiently waiting for us to figure it out, to accept the plan and live it, once again as we accepted it before we came to earth. Those of us who have made mistakes or just not really figured things out quite yet, we can learn and grow and accept the truth and then like the Prodigal Son we can return to waiting, open, forgiving arms. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Enos's Sacrifice

In my last post about sacrifice I mentioned Enos, a prophet in the Book of Mormon. I have been thinking about his story and sacrifices and decided to post about it.
Enos went into the wilderness one day to hunt and started thinking about the things his father had taught him. (I am so glad there were no cell phones or Mp3 players, or ipods). As he pondered on his father's teachings, he "hungered" (is what the scriptures say) and he knelt and prayed for his own soul. he prayed all day and into the night. Then he felt the Lord tell him that he was forgiven and he knew the Lord could not lie so it must be so. Now unlike many of us, he stayed on his knees and prayed for all his people the nephites. The Lord answered him and said that He would "visit them according to their diligence in keeping my commandments", Enos 1:10. Now he still continued to pray this time for his enemies the Lamanites and their souls. He desired that if his people fell into iniquity and were destroyed that their records could be preserved so the Lamanites could eventually come unto Christ. They had tried to teach the Lamanites but with no success. The Lord told Enos that his fathers have also "required this of Me". The Lord told him that because of his faith and the faith of his Fathers, that this would be done. Now, Enos finished his prayer but his sacrifice just began. He preached and prophesied to his people from that time forth to keep them in the way of the Lord. He and the Nephites did continue to teach the Lamanites with no success. When he was about to die this is what he said, Enos 1:26-27 "I must preach and prophesy unto this people, and declare the word according to the truth which is in Christ. And I have declared it in all my days, and have rejoiced in it above that of the world."
"And I soon go the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen."
Enos sacrificed and gave his life to the teaching of his people and his enemies the Lamanites and because of this he did not fear jugdement day. He rejoiced in it and knew he would not be guilt ridden as he stood before God but he would be accepted. His sacrifice was enough because of his repentance and service to God and His children. I am so grateful that we can try and do all that is asked of us and repent when we fall short as we all do. I am grateful for my Brother, Jesus Christ who was willing to sacrifice and suffer for us all and die for us that we may be resurrected as He was and live again as He does now live. In the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Sacrifice

I have been reading the bible lately and I was reading in Exodus when the children of Israel were working on the Tabernacle. They were asked to donate their gold and silver and jewels and material and wood. The cloth had to be spun. So the women spun cloth. Eventually the men blessed with wisdom to do the building of the Tabernacle came to Moses and told him that they had too much. So Moses gave commandment, "Let neither man nor woman make any more work for the offering of the sanctuary.... The stuff they had was sufficient for all the work to make it, and too much." Exodus 36:6-7. I was impressed with the generosity of the children of Israel and their willingness to sacrifice and help. And then I started thinking of the things which we are asked to do and how we are asked to sacrifice and wouldn't it be so wonderful if at the end of our earthly lives we could be told it is sufficient. Like Enos, to be told "Come unto me ye blessed there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of My Father. Enos 1:27.
Also when I think about the things we are commanded to do I have a hard time considering it a sacrifice. We are blessed with so much as we strive to do what is right and repent when we fall short it is hard to consider it sacrificing. King Benjamin puts it well when he talks of our debt to Heavenly Father in Mosiah 2:21-25. We are indebted to Him for our very lives and then when we keep His commandments He blesses us and we are still indebted to Him forever. And the only way it is possible for our sacrifices to be considered sufficient is because of our debt being paid by the greatest sacrifice of all, that of our Brother, and Savior Jesus Christ. We all fall short without His sacrifice, but because of His great love for us and His atoning for our sins, our meager sacrifices can be enough. I am so grateful for my Savior and all He has done for me. In the name of Jesus Christ amen.